I raised the question earlier as to whether we are alone at the moment of orgasm, and I argued that it is possible to be with our spouses. But there is another alternative to a man being alone with himself in that moment: being with God. Being with another human being is very difficult at this moment, even with his wife – who is the immediate occasion, cause, even location of this pleasure, and toward whom at that moment he feels such deep gratitude – because he is so deeply inside himself at that moment that it may seem that no other human being can reach down there, and be with him there.
But a believer knows that at the very depth of his being is the very source of his being: God. And so the Person Who can most be there with a man is God. And the natural response in His presence there is gratitude. That is what makes it possible for sex to be transcendent, to push us beyond ourselves, and, indeed, everything else – to go to the ultimate Reality that exceeds the universe and is, at the same time, at the center of our being, as the source of our being, Who knows us more intimately than we know ourselves.
So it is also possible NOT to be alone, but rather to achieve union in and during orgasm – above all, through gratitude: One reacts to the experience with “Oh, myyyy Gooooood . . . ..Thhaaaaaaannnnnkk yoooooouuuu!”
While, as I said, it seems virtually impossible for anyone else to “be there” at that moment, it makes a difference if the wife also has that same attitude or stance toward reality, so that each one of them implicitly knows that the other is experiencing that moment in the same transcendent way. They know that they are there together, even though at the very farthest reach they are alone with God. In a sense, they can be alone with God, together.
And this aspect of union can be encouraged or fostered by verbalizing, by speaking, by expressing it in speech. While it might seem that this would diminish the interiority of the moment, it doesn't have to (at least, judging from my experience). The "thank you, God" (or "my God, I love this moment so much") spoken at orgasm is not intended primarily as a communication with the spouse (though it is that incidentally and intentionally) – if it is, it might diminish the pleasure of that moment. It is really the overflow of feelings, the spontaneous reaction of a believer to such an immense gift, talking to God (though knowing, and intending, that the spouse "overhear" that "conversation").
And, similarly, spoken afterwards, as husband and wife quickly come down from the heights of pleasure, but experience the contented well-being of closeness (that wonderful oxytocin!), words of gratitude and love for each other and to God help anchor them together in a common understanding of what they have experienced together – their deep conjugal union and bond, and its transcendent meaning.