On the other hand, another limitation in scope to this website is that it is not about sex in general, but about marital lovemaking. That has tremendous consequences.
One of the most important is the kind of woman we are talking about here. What lovemaking is like depends so much on the character of that woman. There are such deep differences among sexual intercourse with a loving wife, a girlfriend who is a possible wife, a girlfriend with an uncertain future, a friendly acquaintance, a hookup, or a prostitute. They are alike in some ways, of course, but how could they be the same? I’m not sure how useful it is to look at sex apart from its proper context – for example, at “sex between a man and a woman”, rather than “sex between a husband and wife” – because the context “colors” or affects the experience so much. The context doesn't just add something, but transforms everything.
I’m not interested that much in what “average sex” is – what’s typical of most people. (What is the average length of an orgasm or the average time it takes to make love.) I want to know more about a good man who is a husband making love to a good woman who is his wife.
There is so much talk about sex in our contemporary culture, and especially on the internet, and especially of a more technical kind – what are the right “techniques”. But, interestingly, it’s just not clear whether there’s any more sexual satisfaction today, although that is widely assumed. (For the record, it’s worth recalling there is no way to know for sure – we just don’t have any solid “empirical” data for sexual satisfaction until very recently – what we have is relatively little, and all anecdotal.)
What we do have in our society today – which is suggestive – is a lot of people constantly obsessed with how to have “better sex” (usually meaning more extended periods of sexual pleasure or more intense orgasms). If we have so much more sexual satisfaction today, now that we are liberated from our repressive past, why do people spend so much time talking about it? Why does Cosmopolitan’s front page every month have something about “The Moves You Make That Will Drive Him Wild!” Apparently, whatever you learned last month wasn’t enough.
One thing about this website has to be clear: there’s no pretense here that there are final or complete answers. Aside from the futility of trying to achieve that with such a complicated topic, there’s always the fundamental point we have to come back to: people – all of us – are different. We have some things in common, but there is a uniqueness to every person, and so also a uniqueness to every couple.
But, still, the things we have in common may make it possible to learn from each other. And I hope this website can contribute to that in its small way.