THE POINT OF IT ALL: SEXUAL UNION
Why so we have marital sex? It is one very essential or integral part of achieving sexual union with the person we love, to whom we have given ourselves completely.
Physical sexual union symbolizes or represents what it also helps to bring about, namely, the deeper human union – psychological, emotional, and spiritual.
One of the obstacles to sexual union is the differences between the sexes regarding "sexual union." (Of course, those differences are also an important part of what drives us to seek sexual union.) Men go for physical union more quickly, more intensely, and more superficially (with great emphasis on the physical and insufficient attention to the deeper levels of union). Women need to be slowly and patiently drawn into the act of union, because what they want is deeper.
Men benefit from this difference because they learn to go deeper, to understand that sexual union goes much deeper than just the physical union. Women benefit because the deeper union that they desire and, in a way, demand (as a price for being fully engaged in the union) – often successfully, because men find the price well worth paying – is more satisfying to them, and they appreciate the intensity with which their beloved craves them.
Husbands need to meditate or reflect more on the meaning of sexual union. That is one important reason for this website. Who would have thought that we need to get men to think more about sex?!
Just one note about something I find interesting. If you google "sexual union", most of the websites that come up tend to be either definitional (defining what it is) or Christian. If you put in "marital sexual union" they are mostly Christian. If you put in "sacred sexual union" they are almost all "Eastern" (e.g., Tantric). Purely secular sites about sex seem not to speak in terms of "union" much. I wonder whether this has something to do with the much more individualistic concepton of sexuality that has grown powerful in our culture.