What if... Feminists never existed? Don’t want to be called a feminist? OK. The Women’s Movement was about stopping the treatment of women as property. The first wave started in 1848 and ended in 1920. The women who fought against slavery were treated disrespectfully by white men. When the Black male got the right to vote, women didn’t. The result of the first movement was the right to vote for women after 72 years of fighting for it.

The second wave started in 1961 when JFK’s Commission On The Status of Women found that women were discriminated against in all areas of life. In 1963 a book called “The Feminine Mystique“ was published. College women involved in antiwar and the Civil Rights Movement for Black’s were told that “all they were good for was getting coffee for the men and lying in a prone position.” Let’s erase both Women’s Movements from history. So today in our democracy, as a woman you are living under the following conditions. Where would you be today?

1. Your rights are not written into the Constitution.
2. You cannot vote.
3. An education will shrink your reproductive organs.
4. You are chattel, the property of your father and marriage meant becoming the property of a husband.
5. You can be arrested for not having intercourse with your husband.
6. You cannot go to college.
7. You are discriminated against in employment.
8. Your husband can legally rape you. It was considered a “custom to rape your wife”.
9. Your husband can beat you and abuse you. It’s a private family matter to be kept secret.
10. Professional careers are a man’s career. You cannot be a doctor, lawyer, Veterinarian, fireman, policeman, truck driver, phone installer, CEO of a company, dentist, airline pilot, etc.
11. You do twice the work for half the salary.
12. Rape is your fault. You asked for it. Most women are ashamed to report it. You must show bruises that you didn’t want forced sex. You’re sexual history must be revealed.
13. Abortion is illegal.
14. No language existed for marital rape, date rape, domestic violence, or sexual harassment. You can be
    bullied and belittled in employment and education.
15. In 1954, Life magazine publishes an article by psychiatrists saying that women working outside the
    home create alcoholic husbands, homosexual children, and juvenile delinquents. It is her sick unwillingness to surrender to feminine fulfillment.
16. In the 50’s, the president of Harvard University will not increase the number of female graduates because women are not considered leaders. And they are not allowed in Lamont Library for fear they will distract male students.
17. Newspaper ads separate jobs by sex. Women are paid less for the same work. Jury duty is off limits for women in some states. An independent woman is an oxymoron, a single woman is sick, and a childless woman is emotionally disturbed.
18. Mostly men design women’s clothes, shoes, bras, and girdles. Ouch!
19. Incest is rampant and only considered a private family matter to kept secret.
20. You are fired if you are pregnant.
21. There are no child care centers
22. There are no tax deductions for child care.
23. You are discouraged from playing sports.
24. Social Security benefits are less than males.
25. Education in math and science is not for you. You are expected to be a traditional housewife even
    if you have a college education.
26. There are no battered women shelters.
27. There are no rape crisis hot lines.
28. There are no women’s health clinics.
29. If being a be a traditional housewife makes you depressed, lonely, and isolated, you are prescribed Valium, overeat or drink alcohol. You are to match the ideal image of the ideal housewife shown in the
    media. You are to be fulfilled in helping your man reach his dreams.
30. If you want “freedom” to seek your goals and dreams, you will stir society, wreck the economy
    and families and compete for men’s jobs.
31. Doctors have arrogant attitudes to women’s ailments. They don’t know how to treat most female health problems. Just remove your uterus and ovaries. So, Feminists lobby for laws and research funding and write “Our Bodies, Ourselves”. Most research is done on male problems.
32. In 1982, the Equal Rights Amendment does not pass. Women do not have the same rights as men do on paper.
33. Birth control is illegal.
34. There are few women in Congress and State legislatures. Men rule women’s issues.
35. There is a limit on how many women can enter graduate school.
36. You are not allowed to have a credit card or obtain a bank loan.
37. Many bars will not serve you.
38. Divorce can leave you in poverty, if you have no education or skills to support yourself.
39. There are no college courses on women’s history, art, or literature. Textbooks in schools show women in traditional roles.
40. Women are “protected” in unions meaning they can only work in certain jobs for so many hours with little pay.

Today, are you taking these freedoms for granted? Be aware of what courageous and brave feminists did for you. Referring back to #15, my father worked outside the home, was an alcoholic and a domestic abuser. The woman was blamed for many problems in the family because Eve was responsible for the fall of man. Is father failure, learned behavior? He watched how his father treated his mother and how society put women in their place? Learned behavior is the match that ignites the fire for relationship problems.

The word feminist does not mean wanting to be little men, man hater or gay. It means going after your own dreams and passions and being responsible for yourself and those you care about. Don’t put up with being put down. Today if a male calls you a feminist, he feels threatened by you. Find a mate who respects and supports your truth, passions, and dreams. There are many lonely and depressed men and women who have relationship problems because we are told we must live up to an image. The image of what large corporations define as “who” we should be. Masculinity is still defined as tough, controlling, aggressive, hold in those emotions (until it lets loose as anger and hostility). Femininity is still defined as weak, submissive, emotional. (until you can’t put up with being put down anymore). Gender is “learned behavior”.

We were reading that men became confused. Will she take my job? Should I open her door? Walk on the outside? Split the cost of dinner? Who initiates sex? Housework? Childcare? Does she call me or do I call her? ( How many woman waited for that phone call for years!)

Where are we today? To have approval, acceptance and attention girls are taught they must be seen as “sexy.” She must conform. What’s wrong with wanting a little attention?

The result of the media with their “sex sells” mentality is trying to sexually arouse men. Jim Smith owner of Ground Zero Advertising said, “the cause of the problem is that boys are not taught how to value women.” Everyday we wake up to hear the news that another girl or woman has been kidnapped, raped, beaten, murdered. Porn rakes in 11 billion dollars each year, making men insensitive to women as people. Women are objects. Things. Devalued. There are more men who watch porn than all four major sports combined.

You are “not good enough”. You must be beautiful (buy, buy and buy those products), thin is in (some develop anorexia or bulimia, the diet fads and books are making millions), you must have large breasts (some get breast implants), sexy (just show your cleavage, hike up your skirt to reveal those thighs, and wear those high, high and higher heels). Rap music, video games, billboards, sex magazines, films, TV, radio, music videos are constantly degrading women. Look…listen,,, be aware of how the media is manipulating us. Women are silent. Why? Because if they protest, they will be called the F word, Feminist, which connotes little men, man hater or gay. So they go along to get along. They have forgotten what Feminists accomplished for them.

Men and women are programmed by the culture. Men are not taught how to value women or nurture relationships. Are women taught how to value men? As a man do you feel valued? If you’re a woman, do you feel valued? Then we wonder why people are depressed, lonely and addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex and cannot get along. Who sets the ideology for the culture? Follow the money…the owners of the media, fashion industry, anyone who has a product you can buy. Watch how you are being manipulated, then look at your life. Are you happy?

Woman want the same thing as men. We want our feelings to be acknowledged and respected and honored. No criticism, no sarcasm, no put-downs. We want the freedom to pursue our dreams and share raising children. Children need more fathering. We want to love and be loved. Don’t do anything to anybody else that you wouldn’t want done to you.

Stop the violence against women and men against men. We are given a beautiful act of nature, to receive the gift of children, and create intimacy between two people. Let’s be grateful, not hateful. Realize the past so we can change the future.